7 Psychological Signs Your Ex Wants You Back

We’ve all been there - heartbroken, confused, and wondering if our ex ever thinks about us. Maybe you’re trying to move on, but you can’t help but notice little things that make you wonder: are they trying to get back together? Maybe they’re just being friendly, maybe they’re just trying to be amicable, maybe they’re secretly hoping you’ll reach out... Maybe! Or maybe not. It can be really tough to tell what’s going on in someone’s head, especially when they’re your ex!

But don’t worry, you’re not alone. We’ve all been there. And there are actually some pretty clear signs that your ex might be wanting to get back together.

So, before you jump to conclusions, read on to learn the 7 psychological signs your ex wants you back. We’ll break down the psychology behind these signs and help you decipher the subtle signals your ex might be sending.

1. They Make an Effort to Stay in Touch

This might be the most obvious sign of all, but it’s worth mentioning. If your ex keeps reaching out to you, even just in a casual way, it’s a good sign that they’re still thinking about you.

They might text you about something you mentioned in passing, or call to chat about something random. They might even show up at your favorite coffee shop, hoping to bump into you.

Why does this work? Well, it’s a way for your ex to see how you’re doing, and to gauge your reaction. If they sense that you’re open to talking, it’s a green light for them to start moving forward.

Examples of Staying in Touch

• Texting you happy birthday, or a "thinking of you" message
• Liking your Instagram posts or leaving comments on your Facebook posts
• Sending you articles or videos they think you might find interesting
• Reaching out to you about a mutual friend

2. They’re More Active on Social Media

Remember the days when you used to scroll through your ex’s social media feed? You’d check their updates, their stories, their posts, and their tagged photos. You were essentially a social media stalker, but let’s be honest, we’ve all been there.

Now, if you notice your ex posting more frequently, or posting things that are clearly meant to get your attention, it could be a sign that they’re hoping to catch your eye. They might be posting about things they know you love, or posting pictures of themselves looking happy and carefree.

Why does this work? It’s a subtle way for your ex to show off their life and to make you wonder what they’re up to. It’s also a way for them to gauge your reaction and see if you’re still interested.

Examples of Social Media Activity

• Posting pictures of themselves in places you used to go together
• Sharing quotes that seem to be about your relationship
• Posting about a movie you used to watch together
• Using the same filter on Instagram as you

3. They Act Jealous

It's natural to feel a pang of jealousy when you see your ex with someone new, especially if you’re still harboring feelings for them. And if your ex is acting jealous, it could be a sign that they’re still not over you.

They might get defensive when you mention someone new in your life, or they might try to sabotage your date by showing up unexpectedly.

Why does this work? Jealousy is a powerful emotion that can drive people to do crazy things, including trying to win back a lost love. If your ex is acting jealous, it could be a sign that they’re still trying to hold on to you.

Examples of Jealousy

• Asking about your new relationship
• Making snide comments about your date
• Liking the photos of your ex’s new partner

4. They Try to Make You Jealous

It can be tempting to think that your ex is just trying to make you jealous if they start acting differently around you. But, it could also be a way to make you realize what you’re missing.

They might start flirting with other people in front of you, or they might post pictures of themselves looking happy and carefree with their friends. They might even try to make you think they’re moving on by dating someone new.

Why does this work? It’s a way to get your attention and make you realize that you’re not the only one they’re interested in. They’re hoping that seeing them with other people will make you jealous and want them back.

Examples of Making You Jealous

• Flirting with other people in front of you
• Mentioning their dates casually
• Posting pictures of themselves looking happy with other people

5. They Apologize for their Mistakes

It’s a good sign if your ex is willing to take responsibility for their role in the breakup. It shows that they’ve reflected on the relationship and are willing to learn from their mistakes.

They might apologize for hurting you, or they might admit that they were wrong. They might even offer to make amends for their past behavior.

Why does this work? It’s a way to show you that they’re sincere about wanting to make things right. It’s also a way to create a sense of hope that the relationship could work out this time around.

Examples of Apologies

• Saying "I’m sorry for hurting you" or "I’m sorry for the way I treated you"
• Taking responsibility for their actions
• Expressing regret for the breakup

6. They Talk About the Past

This might seem counterintuitive, but if your ex keeps bringing up the past, it could be a sign that they’re still thinking about you. They might talk about your favorite memories together, or they might share stories about things you used to do.

Why does this work? It’s a way for your ex to reminisce about the good times and to see if you’re still feeling the same way about them. It’s also a way for them to create a sense of nostalgia and to make you feel closer to them.

Examples of Talking About the Past

• Sharing a story about something you did together
• Mentioning a place you used to go together
• Playing a song you used to listen to together

7. They Change Their Behavior

If you notice that your ex has changed their behavior, it could be a sign that they’re trying to impress you or win you back. Maybe they started taking better care of themselves, or maybe they started doing things that they know you would approve of.

Why does this work? It’s a way for your ex to show you that they’re trying to be a better person, and that they’re willing to make changes for you. It’s also a way for them to show you that they’ve grown and evolved since the relationship ended.

Examples of Behavior Change

• They’re more attentive to their appearance
• They’ve taken up a new hobby or interest that you would like
• They’re more considerate of your feelings

Don’t Forget to Check In with Yourself

Remember, there’s a difference between wanting someone back and needing them back. If you’re noticing any of these signs, it’s important to take a step back and ask yourself how you feel.

Are you still in love with your ex? Do you think the relationship could work out this time around? Or are you just holding on to the past because you’re afraid of being alone?

Only you can answer these questions. But if you’re unsure, it might be helpful to talk to a friend, family member, or therapist. They can offer you an objective perspective and help you make the best decision for yourself.

Commonly Asked Questions

What if my ex is just being friendly?

It’s totally possible that your ex is just trying to be friendly. Especially if the relationship ended amicably, there’s no reason why you can’t be friends. However, if you’re feeling confused or uncertain about their intentions, it’s okay to set some boundaries. You can gently let them know that you’re not ready to be friends yet, or that you’re only comfortable communicating in a limited capacity.

What if my ex is dating someone new?

Even if your ex is dating someone new, it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re not still thinking about you. They might be trying to move on, but they could still have feelings for you. It’s important to remember that everyone moves at their own pace, and there’s no right or wrong way to heal from a breakup.

What should I do if I think my ex wants me back?

There’s no easy answer to this question. It depends on your individual circumstances and what you want. If you’re open to getting back together, you can try reaching out to your ex and seeing where things go. However, if you’re not interested in getting back together, it’s important to be honest with yourself and with them.

Ultimately, the decision of whether or not to get back together is up to you. But by understanding the psychological signs that your ex wants you back, you can make a more informed decision about your future.